GOESSEL, KS After a tight vote in the US Senate, President Joe Biden has been ousted and will be replaced with a half-asleep Mennonite man from just outside Goessel, Kansas. “Shhh, you don’t want to […]
MORRIS, MB When southbound traffic on Manitoba’s most prestigious highway Number 75 was re-opened today after being closed briefly due to winter weather, drivers were shocked to discover road conditions were still just as shitty […]
HOLLYWOOD, CA Spoiler Alert. Matt Damon dies at the end of The Last Dueck. Or maybe he doesn’t? I guess you’ll just have to see which of the Duecks survive in this brand new film […]
HOLLYWOOD, CA Dune star Timothéeee Chalamet has just broken the record for more successive E’s in a name after having his name legally changed from Timothée to Timothéeee earlier this week. “I looked at my name up there […]
WEST READING, PA It’s a little known fact that as a young girl in Pennsylvania, pop star Taylor Swift became quite familiar with the Mennonite Church hymnal. This, according to Swift, is what inspired her […]
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