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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Among 313 Canadians Banned from “Going Anywhere Near Alberta”

March 18, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Justin Trudeau was at the top of a list of 313 Canadians banned from going “within a hundred kilometers” of Alberta. “We don’t want him wearing a Flames jersey either,” said Calgary man […]

Unger Games

National League Adopts ‘Designated Menno’ Rule

March 16, 2022 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA Decades after its junior curcuit counterpart made the change, the National League has finally agreed to adopt the Designated Menno rule. “It’s about damn time,” said diehard Phillies fan Mary Denlinger. “I know […]

Unger Suspicion

Elon Musk Tops Forbes List of “America’s Favourite Oligarchs”

March 12, 2022 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Forbes Magazine has just released a list of the richest oligarchs in America. On the top of the list were beloved American oligarchs Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerburg, and Bill Gates. […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Intends to Snowmobile Well Into June This Year

March 9, 2022 Andrew

WHITEMOUTH, MB Local man Al Kehler, 61, is excited for the 2022 snowmobile season and is full expecting the trails to be groomed and perfect for sledding until at least mid-June. “Ahh, finally a good […]

Unger Suspicion

Breaking News: No One Cares About Your Wordle

March 5, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Mrs. Yoder, who has been faithfully posting her Wordle scores every day on Facebook, was shocked to discover today that literally no one cared. “I’ve committed so much of my life to Wordle […]

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