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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Bargain-Hungry Shoppers Flock to the Wrong Hudson Bay

March 16, 2025 Andrew

CHURCHILL, MB With rumours swirling that Hudson Bay may be going into creditor protection and liquidating their assets, thousands of customers made the 1500 km trek from Winnipeg to get their hands on some amazing […]

Unger Suspicion

Patriotic Canadian to Disassemble All His Furniture and Replace the Screws with Robertsons

February 4, 2025 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Area man Garth Eby, 39, has just begun a yearlong project to dissemble every stitch of furniture in his house and replace all the screws with Robertsons. “I’m starting with the kitchen cabinets, […]

Unger Suspicion

Empty Peavey Mart to be Replaced with Empty Pizza Hut

January 28, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Less than a year after opening its doors, the Peavey Mart in Steinbach will be closing shop to be replaced by an empty Pizza Hut. “We were really hoping an empty Safeway store […]

Unger Suspicion

Rather than Read Group Rules, Area Woman to Write “Please delete if not allowed” Before Every Post

January 27, 2025 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, SK Area woman Diane Klippenstein has a longstanding tradition of writing “please delete if not allowed” before every single social media post. “Whether I’m selling my canned beets or inquiring what time the Co-op […]

Unger Suspicion

Volkswagen Owner Mocks Tesla Owner for Driving a Car Built By a Fascist

January 26, 2025 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After recently discovering the dark underbelly of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, area man Art Klippenstein is relieved to know he drives a car with absolutely no association with right-wing authoritarian politics. “I was […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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