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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Mr. Smith is Asked “You’re Not From Around Here, Are You?” Every Single Day of His Life

December 5, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Despite the fact that four generations of Smiths have lived in the Steinbach area, and there’s even an arena named after one of them, Mr. Thomas Smith, 41, is still asked every day […]

Unger Suspicion

‘The Sound of Music’ Still Considered Edgy in Mennonite Communities

December 3, 2016 Andrew

SCHANZENHOF, MB More than fifty years after it hit the big screen, beloved Julie Andrews musical The Sound of Music still stirs up debate and controversy in Mennonite communities. “Back in the 60s, some classmates told me […]

Unger Suspicion

Controversial Alt-Mennonite Leader is Fed Up With Being Told Not to Judge

December 3, 2016 Andrew

HOFFENBURG, PA A fringe Mennonite group promoting a “traditional pro-judgement pro-gossip” agenda has been gaining traction in the last few weeks due, in part, to an editorial in BreitBart and a series of memes with spelling mistakes in them. […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Pacifism is Totally Impractical’ Says Large Multinational Weapons Manufacturer

December 1, 2016 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Arms industry leaders met in Washington this week to discuss ways of curbing the growing wave of pacifism that’s sweeping the nation. “How the hell can we expect to keep the economy going […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Insists His Beard is Not a Tribute to Fidel Castro

November 26, 2016 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK A Mennonite man is facing considerable scrutiny today for sporting a beard that looks eerily similar to that of recently departed Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. “It’s just a beard,” said Ben F. Toews […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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