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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Violently Tossed From Airplane in Midflight

April 15, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A Unified Airlines flight from Lancaster to Goshen was far from routine for one local Mennonite man, who was rudely removed from his seat and tossed from the plane in midair after it was […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada Geese Return Home Just to Shit All Over It

April 12, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Millions of Canada geese, that beloved symbol of all that is good and decent about our fair country, have returned home this week to completely shit over absolutely everything. “The purpose of these geese […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites! Come Join the Glorious Nation of North Korea!

April 11, 2017 Andrew

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA The Daily Bonnet is now under the control of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea and we require that all Mennonites turn from their ways and commit themselves to Kim Jong-un. Based on our […]

Unger Suspicion

Perhaps the Most Important Words Ever Written About War…

April 8, 2017 Andrew

This isn’t satire: “WAR is a racket. It always has been. It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable, surely the most vicious. It is the only one international in scope. It is the […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Pothole Swallows Entire Mennonite Family

April 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After more than a week of searching, a local Mennonite family has been declared ‘officially lost’ after their horse and buggy plummeted into a gigantic pothole on Henderson Highway at the end of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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