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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

McCartney Cancels Show in Mennonite Town Over Lack of Vegetarian Options

July 21, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Legendary musician and notorious veggie-lover Paul McCartney has decided to cancel his upcoming summer concert in Steinbach, citing what he calls “an embarrassing lack of vegetarian options.” “That town is full of Mennonites […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Couple Air Their Grievances on Jerry Springer Show

July 20, 2017 Andrew

STAMFORD, CT In most cases, Mennonite couples are encouraged to work out their differences in private, or perhaps in front of a small group of elders. However, this past week, local farmers Henry and Annie […]

Unger Suspicion

Brave Kangaroo Carries Mennonite Tourists to Safety

July 19, 2017 Andrew

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA First time travellers Robert and Martha Loewen of Altona found that they had wandered a little too far into the outback during a recent visit to Australia. Lucky for the Loewens, they found […]

Unger Suspicion

JK Rowling Releases Mennonite Harry Potter Book ‘Without All the Magic’

July 18, 2017 Andrew

LONDON, UK In an effort to make her books more appealing to a wider audience, best-selling author J.K. Rowling is releasing new edited versions of her popular Harry Potter books that removes all the witchcraft […]

Unger Games

Sporadic Golfer Still Can’t Figure Out Why He Sucks At It

July 9, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local accountant Ed W. Friesen took to the links for the first time this season and soon became frustrated with his lack of prowess. After just two holes, where he scored a 9 and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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