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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Santa’s Complete List of Naughty Mennonites

December 23, 2017 Andrew

Anonymous sources close to Santa Claus have revealed his list of very naughty Mennonites to the Daily Bonnet. The following Mennonites will NOT be receiving presents this year, because they’ve been very very bad! (The […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau to Vacation in Grunthal, Manitoba From Now On

December 21, 2017 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB After being found guilty of violating numerous federal ethics laws by vacationing on the Aga Khan’s private island, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced that all upcoming Trudeau family vacations will take […]

Unger Games

After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied

December 16, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB After moving to Calgary back in 1997, former Manitoba resident Jeremy Berg still has yet to strap on a pair of skies, much to the chagrin of his new Alberta friends. “Frankly, I […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Finally Switches from Cassette to CD Just in Time for the Demise of CDs

December 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Bennie B. Plett, 67, has finally decided to get rid of all his old gospel tapes and replace them with this new technology he just discovered called the Compact Disc, or […]

Unger Suspicion

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

December 14, 2017 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The Coen Brothers have just wrapped up filming the sequel to their 1998 cult hit The Big Lebowski. The new film, entitled The Big Sawatzky, which reunites Jeff Bridges with John Goodman, Steve […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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