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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Pair of Reimers Go Door-to-Door in Salt Lake City

July 13, 2018 Andrew

SALT LAKE CITY, UT A couple of Reimers from Friesenschanzenfeld have decided to leave the farm behind and go door-to-door in Salt Lake City this summer. “We’re hoping to recruit as many Mormons as possible,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Woman Spontaneously Combusts After Venturing Outside the Perimeter

July 12, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Every Winnipegger’s biggest fear came true last night as one brave soul ventured outside the Perimeter and did not return. Set to become the first Winnipegger ever to leave the city limits to […]

Unger Suspicion

Grand Beach Declared ‘Urine Free Zone’

July 7, 2018 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Urinating at Manitoba’s most popular Lake Winnipeg beach this summer will result in stiff penalties thanks to a new law. Grand Beach is now officially ‘Urine Free,’ although smoking and drinking is […]

Unger Games

Local Man Dies of Boredom Watching Soccer

July 2, 2018 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Local man Mr. Gingrich, 73, of Kitchener passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday. He was discovered by his daughter Samantha, who found him on the couch with a World Cup match still […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada Day Ruined as Stoned Singer Totally Butchers ‘Oh Canada’

July 1, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands gathered in Ottawa today to celebrate the nation’s birthday. However, more than a few people, including one of the anthem singers, were in the city to celebrate a little more than just […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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