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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

New Improved Horse Gets Up to 60 Miles Per Carrot

September 7, 2018 Andrew

HESSTON, KS The folks at Hershberger Horses and More have been working hard over the past few centuries to improve carrot-efficiency in local horses and the results have finally paid off. With regular maintenance, their […]

Unger Suspicion

Like and Share if You Think People Should Stop Indicating their Agreement by Liking and Sharing

September 5, 2018 Andrew

Friends, Mennonites, countrymen, lend me your ears! For too long we’ve been told that the entirety of our self-expression is tied to our willingness to like and/or share stupid memes on Facebook. We are told […]

Unger Suspicion

Ken Ham and Kent Hovind to Guest Star in Series Finale of ‘The Big Bang Theory’

September 2, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Stars of the literal 6-day creationist world will square off against a bunch of fictional physicists in the series finale of hit sitcom ‘The Big Bang Theory’ later this year. “We’re so excited […]

Unger Suspicion

Morden Honours Local Star Loreena McKennitt with Totally Epic Corn Maze

August 25, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB The city of Morden, Manitoba will be honouring its most famous export, celtic music sensation Loreena McKennitt, in the best way they know how, by building a corn maze in her honour. “Basically […]

Unger Suspicion

Jets Ink Morrissey to Long Term Deal

August 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After months of negotiation the Winnipeg Jets announced today that they have inked legendary British alternative rocker Morrissey to a five-year deal. “We’re really glad to have Morrissey locked up for the next […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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