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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Snowbirds So Desperate to Get Out of Canada They’re Perfectly Willing to Suffer Through a Scorching Arizona Summer

June 17, 2021 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ The Rempels of Winkler have not been able to leave the country in a year and a half, but now that travel may be a possibility for fully vaccinated individuals, they’re really looking […]

The Daily Bonnet

Vaccine “Lottery” Rebranded as Vaccine “Quilt Raffle” for Pious Southern Manitobans

June 9, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Not wanting to participate in anything resembling a “lottery”,  Mennonites of the Winker area have agreed to get the vaccine so long as their names are thrown into the hat for the quilt […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Facebook Algorithm Only Shows Posts from Your 26 Closest Frintschoft

June 5, 2021 Andrew

FRESNO, CA A study conducted in Fresno, California indicates that Facebook is now only showing posts from your 26 closest frintschoft and has completely blocked posts by Uncle Jake. “Blocking Uncle Jake is no loss, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Author Stays Covid Safe with Ingenious Stick and Pen Combo

May 28, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Unable to host any in-person book signings since his novel Once Removed was released, local author Andrew Unger has created an ingenious new invention that should solve the problem. “People will finally start […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbachers Elect Peter Falk as New MP

May 26, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Continuing their longstanding tradition of electing Falks and Barkmans, residents of Steinbach have resoundingly decided to send Peter Falk to Ottawa. “We were happy with Ted, but when we heard we could get […]

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