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The Daily Bonnet

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Surge in Peanut Allergies Has Mennonite Church Handing Out Empty Paper Bags this Christmas

December 24, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After just way too many incidents in recent years, Central Kildonan Mennonite Fellowship has decided the only solution is to hand out empty paper bags to all the kids this Christmas. “We wanted […]

The Daily Bonnet

Christmas Card Disappoints

December 23, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A Christmas card failed to deliver the expected level of seasonal joy and/or happiness this week after Larry Barkman, 31, of Winkler discovered it contained no money at all. “Ugh, what am I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Becomes Pregnant After Exposing Her Ankles

December 22, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Every Mennonite woman’s worst nightmare came true last night after Sarah Koop, 20, of La Crete exposed her ankles and instantly become 8-months pregnant. “I knew this would happen. Oh, I just […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Kids Forced to Recite Poem in Order to Get Christmas Present

December 17, 2024 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Young Steven Froese of Rosetown found himself without a poem or Bible verse to share at the gathering this Christmas, which resulted in the six-year-old going home completely empty handed. “Ugh, I guess […]

The Daily Bonnet

MCC Superfans Now Known as ‘Thrifties’

November 30, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Thousands of enthusiastic shoppers gathered at their local MCC store this week to share a few hugs, exchange friendship bracelets, and get their hands on some gently used denim skirts. They’re known as […]

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