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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Family Sells Modest Bungalow in Abbotsford to Live Like Kings in Winnipeg

September 4, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Janzens have just sold their modest 1100 sq. foot bungalow in Abbotsford and are using the funds to live like kings the rest of their lives in Winnipeg. “Even when you factor […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Men Return from European Vacation with a Few New Habits

September 2, 2022 Andrew

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS This summer Henry Bueckert, 71, and his son Jack, 45, decided it was about time to visit the place where their ancestors came from, but little did they know, however, that they’d come […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Girls Have Got Those Old ‘Back to Home School’ Blues

August 28, 2022 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE It’s back to home school time for Bethany, Anne, Erin, Susie, Sally, Melissa, and Taylor Friesen of Henderson, Nebraska. The Friesen girls have finished all their back to home school shopping and now […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Discovered Camping in Briercrest Parking Lot

August 23, 2022 Andrew

CARONPORT, SK The custodial crew at Briercrest Bible College and Seminary were in quite the state of shock this morning as they found that a whole nest of Mennonite families had pulled over for the […]

The Daily Bonnet

“Zellers ain’t good enough!” Mennonites Demand Return of SAAN Stores

August 19, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB While there was some level of excitement for the return of Zellers stores, Mennonites across the Prairies are demanding the return of the even cheaper SAAN stores as well. “The only place that […]

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