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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Transit Purchases New Fleet of Honda Civics

October 18, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area seniors are really excited that the City of Steinbach has finally approved the long-awaited public transit system. “We’ve contracted 20-year-olds in Honda Civics to pick up any grandmas they see and drive […]

The Daily Bonnet

“He’s a 10 but….” (Mennonite Version)

October 15, 2022 Andrew

I’ve never been on TikTok. I barely know what it is. But, apparently, the entire purpose is to ask people how they’d rate other people on a scale of 1 to 10, yet. Like, my […]

The Daily Bonnet

Area Resident Becomes First Mennonite Man Ever to Tell His Wife He Loves Her

October 14, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Area man Dick Froese made headlines throughout Leamington this week after he became the first Mennonite man ever to publicly express love for his own wife. “When we got married 40 years ago, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Uncouth Manitoban Carries Umbrella with Him All Over Abbotsford

October 11, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Manitoba man Colin Hiebert stood out like a sore thumb on his recent trip to Abbotsford as he hauled his umbrella all over town, while the hearty locals were more than tolerant of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hundreds of Expired Chicken Chef Coupons Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Wallet

October 10, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Investigators have finally revealed just what was causing Mr. Neil Reimer’s wallet to grow to such an enormous size – Chicken Chef coupons. “It all makes sense now,” said lead investigator Sheena Plett. […]

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