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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Woman to Become Froese

December 13, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Just as all the relatives expected, Alex Froese, 25, proposed to his girlfriend Samantha Friesen, 23, as soon as the snow fell this winter. The happy couple is planning a June wedding at which time […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Hatchimal’ Shortage Doesn’t Faze Resourceful Mennonite Mom

December 11, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB This year’s hottest Christmas toy, the ‘Hatchimal’, features a big plastic egg that, with care and attention, hatches open and reveals a plush animal. The toy has become so popular that many stores are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dad Kills Deer With the Car, Tells Horrified Children ‘Bambi’s Just Having Meddachschlop’

December 10, 2016 Andrew

REINLAND, MB On a family outing to Kenora this past weekend, local dad Arnold Koop of Reinland smacked right into a deer with the family Caravan. While the carnage seemed to horrify his young family, the […]

The Daily Bonnet

2016 Mennonite Christmas Shopping Guide – Ten Thousand Villages vs. Wal-Mart

December 10, 2016 Andrew

With the Christmas season fast approaching, Mennonites around the globe are faced with a quite the quandary about where to spend their holiday dollars (or guaraní). On the one hand, Mennonites are more-or-less obliged to get the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Blows Entire Paycheque at Cabela’s

December 9, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local father and outdoor enthusiast Peter Neufeld, 41, is drawing criticism from family and friends after blowing his entire November paycheque on hunting and fishing stuff this past weekend. “I really wish he would […]

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