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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Friesens Blamed for Manitoba’s Harsh Winters

November 28, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A recent study showed that Friesen was the most common surname in Manitoba, beating out such favourites as Wiebe, Klassen, and even Smith. The study came as no surprise for local meteorologists who […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Successfully Convinces Husband to Leave the House

November 23, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After months of incessant requests, area woman Anne Peters finally convinced her husband Donald to leave the house and take her to Chuck’s Roadhouse or something for once. “That man has spent every […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Can Finally Start Her Christmas Shopping Now That It’s Snowed

November 20, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB This is the latest start to Christmas shopping ever for area woman Jessica Fehr. But there was just enough snow this week that Fehr was able to commence the journey. “Dietja,” said Fehr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite’ and 7 Other Terms You Didn’t Know were Slurs

November 19, 2024 Andrew

I’m not sure why it took the outside world so long to figure this out, but the word Mennonite is actually a highly offensive slur and should never be used. After all, like Anabaptist, the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Committee Rules Non-Mennonites are Allowed to Laugh at Mennonite Jokes

November 11, 2024 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB A meeting was held at the Randolph Garage this past week to determine whether non-Mennonites are allowed to laugh at Mennonite jokes. The issue was raised after several city folks felt guilty about […]

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