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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Winter Fashion Forecast: Long Johns All the Rage This Year

December 18, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Fashion industry insiders are predicting a surge in the sale of long underwear this winter. There was a time when this garment, “long johns” as they are sometimes called by Canadians and/or Mennonites, […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite Kama Sutra’ to Be Published This Spring

December 14, 2016 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mennonite couples across North America are anticipating the publication of the Mennonite Kama Sutra this April, which is sure to add some spice to many a romantic relationship. “The book is the most […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Woman to Become Froese

December 13, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Just as all the relatives expected, Alex Froese, 25, proposed to his girlfriend Samantha Friesen, 23, as soon as the snow fell this winter. The happy couple is planning a June wedding at which time […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Hatchimal’ Shortage Doesn’t Faze Resourceful Mennonite Mom

December 11, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB This year’s hottest Christmas toy, the ‘Hatchimal’, features a big plastic egg that, with care and attention, hatches open and reveals a plush animal. The toy has become so popular that many stores are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dad Kills Deer With the Car, Tells Horrified Children ‘Bambi’s Just Having Meddachschlop’

December 10, 2016 Andrew

REINLAND, MB On a family outing to Kenora this past weekend, local dad Arnold Koop of Reinland smacked right into a deer with the family Caravan. While the carnage seemed to horrify his young family, the […]

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