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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Celebrates 500 Years of Anabaptism By Getting Baptized 500 Times

January 20, 2025 Andrew

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS Devout Mennonite and local tulip farmer Aldert Alderliesten decided he would commemorate 500 years of Anabaptism by setting the Guinness World Record for most successive baptisms. “The previous record was George Blaurock in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Teens Switch to Low German After Swearing Ban in Taber

January 14, 2025 Andrew

TABER, AB Several years ago, the small Mennonite town of Taber drew headlines across the globe for banning swearing. Haven’t heard from them lately? Well, that’s because local teens hanging out in parking lots have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Unger Review Articles of 2024

January 1, 2025 Andrew

Thanks, everyone, for a great 2024! Here are the top 10 most popular articles on the Unger Review in 2024. As always, there are some surprises, especially with the number one article. It’s definitely not […]

The Daily Bonnet

Real News or Satire: 2024 Unger Review Quiz

December 25, 2024 Andrew

In the early days of the Daily Bonnet, you may recall an annual quiz wherein folks were asked to identify real news from the fake variety. Well, we’ve decided to rekindle that tradition here on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Surge in Peanut Allergies Has Mennonite Church Handing Out Empty Paper Bags this Christmas

December 24, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After just way too many incidents in recent years, Central Kildonan Mennonite Fellowship has decided the only solution is to hand out empty paper bags to all the kids this Christmas. “We wanted […]

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