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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman “Wins the Lottery” After Mrs. Brubacher’s Clothes Blow into Her Yard

August 22, 2019 Andrew

HEIDELBERG, ON Mrs. Eby is feeling like she won the lottery this week after a particularly windy day blew all of Mrs. Brubacher’s clothes right into her yard. “This should keep the Ebys supplied all […]

The Daily Bonnet

The 5 Best ASMR Videos for Mennonites!

August 20, 2019 Andrew

What the schissjat is ASMR? Well, I’m not really sure, but my cousin says she gets a tingly feeling by watching some vid-yos on the YouTubes. I said, ‘Nah, Maria, it doesn’t give such’ but […]

The Daily Bonnet

Reluctant Mennonite Man Dances to ‘Cotton Eye Joe’

August 16, 2019 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Guillermo Plett had never danced in his life and he wasn’t about to break his vow of dancing abstinence just because the Reimer cousins were getting married. However, three hours and a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Can’t Stop Laughing at Corny Jokes

August 12, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mr. Corny Toews of Blumenhof doesn’t have much of a sense of humour. He doesn’t like satire, he hates parody, and isn’t too keen on observational humour. The only thing Mr. Toews seems […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Vertical Money Confuses Mennonite Man

August 9, 2019 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB Mr. Wiens of Niverville has recently started a campaign to get the new ten dollar bills “put back the right way” after, for the life of him, he just couldn’t figure out how […]

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