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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Cleans House Just Before Cleaning Lady Arrives

October 8, 2019 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Mrs. Stobbe, 67, of Abbotsford was in a panic this morning to get her house in order for the arrival of her cleaning lady Gertrude. “Gotta make sure this place is spick and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Residents Petition City to Build Massive 640 Acre Parking Lot Downtown

October 7, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A consortium of concerned citizens has petitioned city council to abandon their plans for a state-of-the-art events centre downtown and instead build a massive 640 acre parking lot. “I’m hoping this gets approval, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Get their Hands on $65 Elton John T-Shirts

October 5, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites were crowding the hallways at the Bell MTS Place last night to get their hands on some $65 Elton John T-Shirts. “Oba, yo! Oh, look, a hoodie for $125 and for just […]

The Daily Bonnet

Party Leaders Score Big Points During Plautdietsch Language Debate

October 2, 2019 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB With the notable exception of Bloc Quebecois leader Yves-Francois Blanchet, who said he really didn’t care to get the Mennonite vote, all major party leaders were present at the Plautdietsch language debate […]

The Daily Bonnet

Historians Baffled: “Were Mennonites Dancing in Danzig?”

October 1, 2019 Andrew

GDANSK, POLAND Between their origins in the Netherlands and their sojourn in Russia, a sizeable chunk of the Mennonite population spent two centuries in Prussia. And while Mennonite historians have written a lot on the […]

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