The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

Brought to you by:

The Daily Bonnet

Lineup Outside Newly Reopened Dollar Store Stretches All the Way from Winkler to Steinbach

February 13, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER or STEINBACH, MB As stores offering non-essential items such as helium balloons, cotton swabs, colourful napkins, and hair ties reopen in Manitoba, the lineup outside dollar stores has grown to enormous lengths. So long […]

The Daily Bonnet

Health Officials Worried About New More Infectious Jantsied Strain

February 9, 2021 Andrew

DITSIED, MB Health officials have gathered today in Rosenort to discuss the newly discovered Jantsied variant. “I’ll be totally honest. It’s not here in Ditsied yet, but the way those Unraus go back and forth […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Naughty Mennonite Emojis (and What They Really Mean)

February 6, 2021 Andrew

These days you have to be careful when you’re using emojis. You don’t want to unintentionally seduce the pastor’s son. In order to aid clear and concise communication, the Daily Bonnet has created this handy […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Officials Worried About Potential Koop D’Etat

February 5, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After recent takeover attempts in Mynamar and Washington, government officials in Winkler are concerned about a potential Koop d’etat in their neck of the woods, too. “Those Koops. Always unsatisfied with the democractic […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Hedge Funds Shorting Stock at Quilt Auction

January 29, 2021 Andrew

BUCKS COUNTY, PA Mennonite quilt stocks have been soaring this week after a group of Mennonites on Reddit decided to bankrupt the billionaire Mennonite church elders who’d been shorting the precious quilt stock. “Honestly, I […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 108 109 110 … 263 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Heather Stefanson Finds Huge Mound of Zoat Left Over in Premier’s Office
    November 2, 2021
  • Mennonite Couple Eagerly Anticipate Turning the Page on their MCC Calendar
    March 31, 2023
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Gives Throne Speech
    May 27, 2025
  • Amana Releases New ‘Throwback’ Dishwasher
    September 12, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved