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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Committee Already Planning “Anabaptism 1000” Celebrations

June 3, 2025 Andrew

ADDIS ABABA, ETHIOPIA Moments after the 500th anniversary service ended, a committee of Mennonites from around the world had already gathered in Addis Ababa to start planning the Anabaptism 1000 celebrations. “I know this is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Shunned After Returning from Zurich with Swiss Army Knife

May 31, 2025 Andrew

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND Area man Dave Kehler immensely enjoyed his time at the Anabaptism 500 celebrations in Zurich this week, but the pleasant festivities contrasted with the rather unfriendly greeting he received on his arrival back […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Mennonites Gather in Most Expensive Country in the World

May 29, 2025 Andrew

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND David Yoder was excited to return to the land of his ancestors this week for the Anabaptism 500-year anniversary, but as soon as he arrived, he got the sneaking suspicion that things must […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Gives Throne Speech

May 27, 2025 Andrew

TABER, AB Area man Roger Goertzen, 46, was so aghast at the videos he was watching on TikTok this afternoon that he started yelling through the door at anyone who was in proximity to hear. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite in Liquor Store Spots Mennonite in Liquor Store

May 22, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB There was a brief moment of considerable anxiety this afternoon after a Mennonite in the local liquor store happened to spot another Mennonite in the liquor store. “I was minding my own business […]

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