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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool

June 26, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Vacationers swimming in the Washington, DC Reflecting Pool vacated really quick this afternoon after someone “Caddyshacked” the pool. “I don’t know who did it or how it happened,” said Gary Kehler, “but when […]

Unger the Influence

Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg

June 17, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC When Annie and Peter Dueck of Altona, Manitoba visited the US capital this week, they couldn’t help but notice something was a little familiar. “Jauma, Annie, look at the reflecting pool,” said Peter. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review

May 31, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC As part of his ongoing war on comedy, President Trump launched a series of attacks against Mennonite humourist Andrew Unger last night. “Totally untalented, not funny. Nobody reads The Unger Review. His ratings […]

Unger the Influence

Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week

May 30, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A completely destroyed and annihilated military has somehow managed to take over the Strait of Hormuz this afternoon, which means Donald Trump will have to completely destroy the completely destroyed military yet again. […]

Unger the Influence

Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For

May 29, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After months of finagling, it looks like Prime Minister Mark Carney is just one MP resignation from his goal of giving the Canadian public what the voted for in the first place. “It’s […]

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