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Unger the Influence

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler to Implement New ‘ArriveVankla’ App

September 22, 2022 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Just as the federal government is set to scrap the glitchy ArriveCan app, the city of Winkler has decided to add a new “ArriveVankla” app for all visitors from Jantsied or Morden yet […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Urge Joe Biden to Forgive Their Sunday School Expenses

August 25, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Upwards of three thousand angry Mennonites descended on Washington this week to demand that Joe Biden pay for the complete cost of all the “Elmer’s glue, popsicle sticks, and flannel pictures of the […]

Unger Suspicion

FBI Discovers Massive Stash of Yerba Tea at Trump Estate

August 9, 2022 Andrew

MAR-A-LAGO, FL According to sources, former President Donald Trump has been growing over 1000 acres worth of yerba mate at his Florida estate. The illicit stash of Paraguayan tea leaves is believed to have been […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Unfollows Daily Bonnet After It Gets Political for First Time in 6 Years

June 28, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local many Larry Wiebe, 32, was “shocked and dismayed” that his favourite satire site The Daily Bonnet had written an article about a political topic that seemed to challenge his own personal position […]

Unger Suspicion

“Oops, My Bad,” Say Democrats Who Forgot to Codify Roe v. Wade for Almost 50 Years

June 26, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Crocodile tears were flowing at Democratic Party headquarters this week, as the men in charge of the party, realized that, yet again, they’d been paying lip service to an idea without doing anything […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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