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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026 Andrew

EPSTEIN FILES The US government has launched a surprise full scale attack on the Epstein Files this weekend. “We had to strike and strike hard to prevent the Epstein Files from doing any more damage,” […]

Unger the Influence

James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review

February 19, 2026 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TEXAS The renowned Mennonite satire site The Unger Review had intended to run an article schputting Texas political candidate James Talarico, but had to pull it at the last minute for unknown reasons. “He’s […]

Unger the Influence

White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island

February 11, 2026 Andrew

WINDSOR, ON The White House is fuming this week after the new Gordie Howe bridge was set to connect the United States with Canada, instead of the Epstein Island route that they preferred. “We’ve been […]

Unger the Influence

George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files

February 1, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Historians are breathing a sigh of relief this weekend as not a single mention of George Washington was discovered in the latest batch of Epstein files. “His name has been completely cleared,” said […]

Unger Games

Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Canadian provincial and federal leaders showed a united front this afternoon as they gathered in Saskatoon to see who was the better knipser. “Of course, Wab Kinew had a big advantage being from […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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