OTTAWA, ON Prime Minister Mark Carney has decided to raze more than 72 million acres of old growth forest in the province of British Columbia this week just to make sure every man, woman, and […]
WASHINGTON, DC The White House just announced this week they’d be creating a $1.8 billion slush fund, specifically designed to provide Trump and his buddies with a neverending supply of 7-11 Slurpees. “I’ve hand-selected a […]
WASHINGTON, DC A request from the Ministry of Truth in Washington has pressured Webster’s Dictionary to redefine “ceasefire” as “all out warfare.” “Too many people were under the false impression that ceasefire means you actually […]
WASHINGTON, DC A man who routinely brags about the cognitive test he aced apparently cannot tell the difference between images of himself dressed as Jesus and a doctor. “It was a very hard test. No […]
WASHINGTON, DC Former FBI director James Comey was indicted this week after posting a photo of seashells that had been arranged to spell ‘606 47.’ “You know what that means?” said President Trump. “Quite frankly […]
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