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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard

October 21, 2026 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Pesticide manufacture Roundup has just announced a new product specifically designed to get rid of those pesky election signs in your yard. “We’re really excited to bring this new product to the market,” […]

Unger the Influence

Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German

October 16, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Trump’s new press secretary lasted just five days on the job after appearing completely unable to string a few words together. “But as it turns out, she was actually speaking in Plautdietsch the […]

Unger the Influence

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy […]

Unger the Influence

Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB A referendum later this month will have Albertans voting on whether they should vote on if they should vote on if they should vote on separation. “We tried to make things as clear […]

Unger the Influence

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Moments after announcing they’d be bringing back public executions, US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth introduced a snazzy new video game to share the experience with kids. “The kids just love video games,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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