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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German

October 16, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Trump’s new press secretary lasted just five days on the job after appearing completely unable to string a few words together. “But as it turns out, she was actually speaking in Plautdietsch the […]

Unger the Influence

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy […]

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Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB A referendum later this month will have Albertans voting on whether they should vote on if they should vote on if they should vote on separation. “We tried to make things as clear […]

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Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Moments after announcing they’d be bringing back public executions, US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth introduced a snazzy new video game to share the experience with kids. “The kids just love video games,” […]

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British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC After the BC conservatives elected Lorne Doerkson as leader recently, voters in the province will now have the chance to pick a Russian Mennonite or a Swiss one. “Of course, who knows if […]

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