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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow

January 24, 2026 Andrew

MIAMI, FL After rolling out a test run at primary schools in Miami, Florida this week, the White House announced plans to provide every school in the country with a dairy cow and a Mennonite […]

Unger the Influence

Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature

January 21, 2026 Andrew

SAUK CENTRE, MN Humorist Andrew Unger drove down to Sauk Centre, Minnesota this afternoon where he was presented with the Nobel Prize for Literature originally given to the great Sinclair Lewis. “It’s such an honour,” […]

Unger the Influence

American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road

January 17, 2026 Andrew

GREENLAND, MB The tiny hamlet of Greenland, Manitoba was on high alert this week after a troop of US soldiers came marching through town. “I guess they want our rare earth roll kuchen or something,” […]

Unger the Influence

Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country

January 11, 2026 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON The federal government was shocked and dismayed with the results after more than $1.2 billion were spent to buyback guns in Mennonite country, with very little success.  “After months of the Mennonite […]

Unger the Influence

Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material

January 8, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mere seconds after longtime Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen announced his retirement, Steinbach deputy mayor Michael Zwaagstra announced his intention to run, saying he wants to continue Goertzen’s legacy of giving Andrew Unger plenty […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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