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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After a barrage of floor crossing and a couple by-elections this week, Mark Carney and the Conservative Party of Canada have finally formed a majority government. “Canadians have spoken loud and clear—they want […]

Unger the Influence

“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC After posting a blasphemous AI-generated photo of himself as Jesus this weekend, President Trump is now saying he had no idea it was Jesus and actually thought it was him as a traditional […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz

March 17, 2026 Andrew

OMAN Oil tankers may once again have free passageway through the Strait of Hormuz after the United Nations has brought in world’s top experts on draining swamps – the Mennonites. “They did it in Friesland, […]

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

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Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In what just may be the most Steinbach headline in history, Judy Peters reports from Steinbach City Hall on Reimer Avenue this week that mayor Earl Funk and former city councillor Cari Penner […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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