The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A request from the Ministry of Truth in Washington has pressured Webster’s Dictionary to redefine “ceasefire” as “all out warfare.” “Too many people were under the false impression that ceasefire means you actually […]

Unger the Influence

Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor

May 5, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A man who routinely brags about the cognitive test he aced apparently cannot tell the difference between images of himself dressed as Jesus and a doctor. “It was a very hard test. No […]

Unger the Influence

James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo

May 3, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Former FBI director James Comey was indicted this week after posting a photo of seashells that had been arranged to spell ‘606 47.’ “You know what that means?” said President Trump. “Quite frankly […]

Unger the Influence

Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI

May 2, 2026 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Mr. Plett is up in arms this week after Premier Wab Kinew announced plans to ban AI. “What do they expect us to do?” said Plett. “Been so long since I’ve done […]

Unger the Influence

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026 Andrew

NEW HAMBURG, ON Days after it was discovered the Ontario Premier was getting around in a $28 million private jet, Doug Ford announced he would be getting a Martin or Eby to cart him around […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 … 48 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Philadelphia Flyers Shore Up Blue Line By Signing Patriarch Kirill of Moscow
    January 19, 2023
  • Letter to Small Town Paper Solves Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
    February 28, 2017
  • Anabaptist Seminary Graduates a Record Five Calvinists
    April 22, 2017
  • World’s Coolest Mennonite Pastor Wears Fox Racing Hoodie to Church
    August 2, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman Tapes ‘Antiques Roadshow’ Over Hockey Game
    April 23, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved