The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Orders Child Size Coke and Stays All Afternoon for Refills

August 6, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man and financial advisor Mr. Kornelsen decided he’d get the biggest bang for his buck if he ordered a kid’s size Coke and down refill after refill all afternoon at his local […]

Unger & Thirst

City Man Invites Two Mennonites On Fishing Trip So He Can Drink All the Beer Himself

August 3, 2020 Andrew

LAC LA RONGE, SK On his way up to Lac La Ronge this weekend, Saskatoon resident Dallas Clark picked up a two-four of Pilsner at the cold beer vendor and a couple Walls in Rosthern. […]

Unger & Thirst

Grandma Wiens is About to Try this Mysterious New Substance

July 29, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB For the very first time in her life, Mrs. Wiens is about to try out this mysterious slightly yellowy liquid she’s never seen before in her life. She was offered this yellowy water […]

Unger & Thirst

Introducing the Seattle Knackin’

July 23, 2020 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Eager to win over some hockey fans in the Fraser Valley from the Vancouver Canucks, the owners of the NHL’s latest misguided attempt at making hockey work in a non-hockey market have decided […]

Unger & Thirst

Heretical Mennonite Man Smothers Perogies in Sour Cream

July 13, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man, Abe Sawatzky, 67, shocked a whole table of cousins at faspa on Friday after foregoing the schmaunt fat and smothering his cottage cheese perogies in sour cream instead. “Diewel devil shinda! […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 72 73 74 … 138 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Court Rules 69-Year-Old Dutch Man is Actually a ‘Whiny Little Toddler’
    December 4, 2018
  • Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School
    January 18, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Medals in Synchronized Baptisms
    July 31, 2024
  • Highway 75 Re-opens, Still Just as Shitty as Before
    November 27, 2021
  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved