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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Has Already Planted 25% of a Simon and Garfunkel Song

July 3, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area woman Olga Sawatzky, 61, is very impressed with her garden this year and says she’s especially excited to be one-quarter of a popular Simon and Garfunkel song. “Not that I listen to […]

Unger & Thirst

Dill Harvest Early this Year

July 2, 2025 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK After a nice stretch of warm weather and a lot of rain, the Swift Current dill harvest is already upon us. “It’s early this year, but that just means the pickles will […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

June 8, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Dozens of Steinbachers expressed their rage on the community Facebook page this week, wondering just when “they” were going to bring a particular fast food restaurant to town. “I’m sick and tired of […]

Unger & Thirst

Fisherman Hired to Extract Last Pickle from Jar

May 30, 2025 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Neil Reimer has been awakened from his meddaschlop this afternoon to attend to an emergency at the Klassen gathering. “Get here fast, Neil,” said Mrs. Klassen, “and bring your rod and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite to Join ‘Golden Dome’ Program

May 21, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House’s new $175 billion ‘golden dome’ defence program seems bound for completion this week after the administration got the Mennonites on board. “Nah, junges, normally we only have the golden domes […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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