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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Celebrate Anniversary By Splitting Meal at Chicken Chef

August 24, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local couple, Bill and Anne Kliewer, will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this week by sharing a 3 piece meal at the local Chicken Chef. “What’s 15.95 divided by two?” wondered Bill. […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Finally Embraces Sundae Shopping

August 20, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Things sure are changing in the growing city of Winkler. After heated debate this week, Winkler city council voted 4 to 3 in favour of legalizing sundae shopping. “This is something that has […]

Unger & Thirst

Poor Air Quality Blamed on Gassy Mennonite Man

August 2, 2025 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB A summer full of unpleasant air has been blamed on Mr. Klassen and his penchant for eating too much cheese. “I knew the bad air was coming from up north. Probably Riverton or […]

Unger & Thirst

Epic Fail as Mennonite Woman Tries to Make Schmaunt Fat with Skim Milk

July 26, 2025 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Martens was in a hurry this afternoon and didn’t have time to extract the necessary cream from her dairy cow Daisy. Instead, she made her schmaunt fat using the skim milk she […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Discovers New Use for Ketchup

July 14, 2025 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB After 300 consecutive days consuming his glums vereniki with nothin but Taunte Lina’s schmaunt fat, area man Dave Kroeker, 41, decided to reach into the fridge for the French’s ketchup. “I don’t know […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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