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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Canadian Woman Confuses Vegemite for Nutella

June 3, 2024 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Area woman Erin Klassen of Abbotsford was about to enjoy a delightful snack of Nutella on bread, while she sat down to watch season 3 of The Bear this evening. However, Klassen’s snack […]

The Daily Bonnet

Shutdown of Pipeline Affects Delivery of Schmaunt Fat Between Gretna and Winnipeg

May 28, 2024 Andrew

GRETNA, MB For the past three months, Winnipegers have been starved for lack of schmaunt fat due to a pipeline shutdown with the supply centre in Gretna. “We’ve got the students at MCI working around […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly

May 24, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Disappointed with the lack of rhubarb-flavoured options, diehard Bubly-drinker Evelen Sawatzky of Mitchell, Manitoba has taken matters into her own hands. “Basically I just gather all the run-off water after I’m done washing […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds Worker is Only Going to Call Your Freakin’ Number One More Time Before She Just Eats it All Herself Already

May 22, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local McDonald’s employee Sarah Buhler says she’s calling order number 2101 just one more time before she goes into the break room and just eats it all herself already. “Order number 2101. Your […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Women Required to Have their Purses Checked as They Exit Buffet Restaurant

May 12, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The popular Mother’s Day buffet at Happy Hamm’s Palace of Ham left some folks in a bit of a sour mood this Sunday, as the restaurant inspected each and every purse that left […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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