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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly

May 24, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Disappointed with the lack of rhubarb-flavoured options, diehard Bubly-drinker Evelen Sawatzky of Mitchell, Manitoba has taken matters into her own hands. “Basically I just gather all the run-off water after I’m done washing […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds Worker is Only Going to Call Your Freakin’ Number One More Time Before She Just Eats it All Herself Already

May 22, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local McDonald’s employee Sarah Buhler says she’s calling order number 2101 just one more time before she goes into the break room and just eats it all herself already. “Order number 2101. Your […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Women Required to Have their Purses Checked as They Exit Buffet Restaurant

May 12, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The popular Mother’s Day buffet at Happy Hamm’s Palace of Ham left some folks in a bit of a sour mood this Sunday, as the restaurant inspected each and every purse that left […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Families Camp Overnight for Mother’s Day Buffet

May 11, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Dozens of families spilled out into neighbouring canola fields this evening in anticipation of tomorrow’s Mother’s Day buffet at the MHV. “Oba, look at those Kroekers way in the back there,” said Mrs. […]

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Man Subsists on Nothing but Rae and Jerry’s Tomato Juice for the Past 60 Years

May 6, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Don Driedger, 79, has been consuming nothing but Rae and Jerry’s delicious tomato juice for the past six decades. “Oh, sure, occasionally I’ll go with the soup,” said Driedger, “but 9 […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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