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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Has “Just One Small Piece” … Then Has Four More

November 3, 2024 Andrew

BUTTERFIELD, MN Mrs. Agnes Siemens of Butterfield, Minnesota was initially a little skeptical when she saw the large size of the pieces her sister Agnes was cutting up this past Sunday. “Oh, Ruth, I’ll just […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Medicine Cabinet Filled with Brandy

October 24, 2024 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Area woman Ruth Penner, 71, felt a sniffle coming on his morning and decided she needed to check her medicine cabinet to see what she had in stock. “Ahh, I think this should […]

Unger & Thirst

Shuttered Winnipeg 7/11s to be Turned into Tim Hortons

October 22, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipegers were relieved to discover that all the recently closed 7/11 stores are going to reopen as Tim Hortons. “If I can’t get a bean burrito and a Slurpee,” said area man Art […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Drives All the Way to Grand Forks for Chick-fil-A … On a Sunday

October 20, 2024 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND The Broesky family of Mitchell, Manitoba loaded up the minivan this morning for what they hoped would be a lovely afternoon outing in Grand Forks. Unfortunately for the Broeskys, they had to […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite-Grown Pumpkins Must Be Used For Pie Not Jack O’Lanterns

October 12, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local pumpkin farmer Ernie Wiebe, 53, is requiring customers to sign a waiver promising only to use his pumpkins to make pie. “I don’t want to see my pumpkins turned into Jack O’Lanterns,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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