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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Treasure Trove of Frozen Treats Discovered in Deceased Grandma’s Freezer

December 13, 2024 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Derek Wiens, 42, was helping clean up his Oma’s apartment building this week when he stumbled upon an entire freezer packed to the brim with frozen treats. “It’s like she was reaching across […]

Unger & Thirst

Banana Turns Brown Mere Seconds After Entering House

December 11, 2024 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Tina Yoder, 61, of Elkhart had just got out of the theology class she’s been auditing, when she decided she needed to stop by at the grocery store for a few items before […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Funeral to be Followed by ‘Girl Dinner’ in Church Gymnasium

December 2, 2024 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Ashley Thiessen, 29, of Winnipeg was sad about the death of her loved one, but felt some sense of relief when she found out great-grandma’s funeral was going to feature a totally epic […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tries Unsuccessfully to Get a Buzz from Ginger Ale

November 9, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON After a hard day’s work on the tomato farm, local man Joseph Kroeker, 21, sat down for a nice relaxing ale this evening, only to discover his choice of beverage was not nearly […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Unable to Identify His Own Wife’s Potato Salad at Church Potluck

November 4, 2024 Andrew

BOW ISLAND, AB Dave Pankratz, 61, of Bow Island, Alberta was in quite the predicament at the church potluck this week as he tried to identify his own wife’s potato salad from among the more […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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