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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Three Mennonites Hospitalized After Brutal Drive-By Shunning

December 7, 2016 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Three young Mennonites are in critical condition this weekend after a random drive-by shunning at a local Wal-Mart. “We’re not yet sure what prompted the shunning,” said Police Chief Dennis Dueck. “We think […]

Unger Conviction

New Mennonite Hymnal Eliminates Verse 3 from Every Hymn

December 4, 2016 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN A brand new edition of the classic Mennonite Hymnal has been slimmed down a little with the elimination of verse three from every single hymn. “No one was singing verse three anyway,” said […]

Unger Conviction

Editorial: ‘I Think the Lord Would Approve of Our Church Split’

December 2, 2016 Andrew

By: Menno Van Menno, Rosenhof, MB We’ve had a long-standing tradition in this town of splitting the church whenever anyone disagrees on an issue. Now, of course, we are reasonable people. We don’t split over trivial […]

Unger Conviction

‘Miraculous Tongues’ Turn Out to Be Low German

November 30, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An enthusiastic new convert from Winnipeg was amazed by the “miraculous tongues” he heard at a church service in Steinbach this past weekend. “I had never heard or seen anything like it,” said […]

Unger Conviction

Mannequin Challenge or…Mennonite Worship Service?

November 20, 2016 Andrew

SHICKLEY, NE Omaha resident Hank Newman took a drive out to Nebraska Mennonite country and was shocked to discover that the recent viral ‘mannequin challenge’ had already reached the area. “I attended a Mennonite worship service […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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