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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Parents Punish Misbehaving Children By Forcing Them To Attend Annual Saengerfest

December 14, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area parents Pete and Carol Penner were so “completely fed-up” with the “bad attitudes” exhibited by their three young children during dinner time that they decided to inflict upon them the strictest punishment known […]

Unger Conviction

Offering Plate is Always Mysteriously Empty After it Passes By Old Mr. Klassen’s Row

December 11, 2016 Andrew

ALT-BERGFELD, MB Ushers at Alt-Bergfeld Mennonite Church are baffled by how utterly empty the offering plate is whenever it passes by Mr. Klassen’s row. “We just can’t figure it out,” said Mr. Friesen. “I’ve ushered […]

Unger Conviction

‘Presumptuous’ Mennonite Man Brings His Own Bible to Church

December 8, 2016 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Reverend V.D. Harder was furious with the “arrogant, and presumptuous behaviour” of one of his parishioners this past Sunday who had the “sheer gall” to bring his own Bible to church. Mr. Friesen is thought to […]

Unger Conviction

Three Mennonites Hospitalized After Brutal Drive-By Shunning

December 7, 2016 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Three young Mennonites are in critical condition this weekend after a random drive-by shunning at a local Wal-Mart. “We’re not yet sure what prompted the shunning,” said Police Chief Dennis Dueck. “We think […]

Unger Conviction

New Mennonite Hymnal Eliminates Verse 3 from Every Hymn

December 4, 2016 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN A brand new edition of the classic Mennonite Hymnal has been slimmed down a little with the elimination of verse three from every single hymn. “No one was singing verse three anyway,” said […]

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