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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Churches Demand All National Parks Be Turned Into Bible Camps

January 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Churches across Canada have been up in arms and are demanding that the federal government fund “all proselytizing efforts” with tax-payer’s money. An online petition sponsored by Life Site News has demanded that […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School

January 18, 2018 Andrew

FREDRICTON, NB Reverend Unrau was called out of the adult Prayer Class yet again this Sunday after his son Timothy socked two other boys in the nose and called little Lisa Wilson a “Poopyface.” It […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Converts JWs at the Front Door

January 5, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB On a frosty winter morning, after a marathon theological discussion that lasted almost five hours, Mr. Peter Siemens of Altona successfully converted the Jehovah’s Witnesses at his front door. “I was still in […]

Unger Conviction

Church with 250 Members Splits into 250 Churches

January 2, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA After a particularly heated membership meeting this past week, the South Lancaster Mennonite Church has decided to split the entire congregation into more manageable units of one. “At first we decided to just […]

Unger Conviction

Church New Year’s Eve Party Over By 8 PM

December 31, 2017 Andrew

OMAHA, NB Revellers at the Omaha Mennonite Church plan to ring in the New Year in the church basement tonight with hymn singing, board games, and Grandma Jansen’s onion dip. The festivities are scheduled to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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