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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Friendly Bulletins Welcome Lonely Hymnal

March 21, 2025 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB A pair of friendly bulletins were the first to volunteer when Pastor Bob hinted that someone needed to reach out and keep that lonely unused hymnal company. “We’re a welcoming church,” said Pastor […]

Unger Conviction

Carney’s Speech Rated Just 2% More Exciting than Mennonite Pastor’s Sermon

March 20, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB University of La Crete Sociologist Dr. Pete Peters, who has spent more than 30 years studying audience engagement with public speakers, has found that Mark Carney’s speeches are a full 2% more exciting […]

Unger Conviction

Bible College Now Offering Shorter 6-Month MRS Degree

March 13, 2025 Andrew

TWO MOUNTAINS, AB Two Mountains Bible College is pleased to announce that starting next year they’ll be offering a shorter MRS program that can be completed in just six months. “We found that not everyone […]

Unger Conviction

Church Attendance Takes Huge Hit After Pastor Excommunicates Anyone Who Doesn’t Reply to His Email

February 24, 2025 Andrew

CORN, OK Pastor Mark’s new “accountability and discipleship plan” has totally backfired, after not a single parishioner replied to his email asking them to keep track of their hours of Bible reading and service. “I’ve […]

Unger Conviction

They’ve Totally Changed All the Lyrics to 606

February 17, 2025 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA After opening up their hymnals for the first time in several years, parishioners at the Central Harrisonburg Mennonite Church were mortified to discover that they’d totally changed nearly every single word in the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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