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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Sanctuary Evacuated After Mennonite Man Farts in Church

October 24, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON The entire west side of the Third Mennonite Church sanctuary had to be cleared this morning after local man Darryl Driedger audibly farted while the offering plate was being passed around. “The […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Service Brigade Defends Church Basement from Invading Pioneer Girls

October 21, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than two dozen Tadpoles and Treeclimbers ran for cover behind upturned Chesterfields in the Youth Room last night as the Pioneer Girls stormed into the basement to sew badges onto their sashes. […]

Unger Conviction

All Mennonites Are Exactly the Same

October 8, 2021 Andrew

Mennonites have received a lot of attention in the media as of late, and not all of it has been positive. Therefore, it behooves me as a proud Mennonite and journalist to clear up a […]

Unger Conviction

Man Who Attends Gender Segregated Church Really Upset About Not Being Allowed to Go Where He Wants to Go and Do What He Wants to Do

September 25, 2021 Andrew

SCHANZENHIMMEL, SK A Mennonite man from rural Saskatchewan is upset at the province this week after hearing he won’t be able to go just anywhere he wants unless he shows proof of vaccination. “I think […]

Unger Conviction

That Hymn 606 Sure Gets Around

September 21, 2021 Andrew

AKRON, PA The Akron Mennonite church lobby was full of gossip this week about just where Hymn 606 has been spending her Sunday mornings for the past few months. “Did you hear about that Hymn […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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