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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

That Hymn 606 Sure Gets Around

September 21, 2021 Andrew

AKRON, PA The Akron Mennonite church lobby was full of gossip this week about just where Hymn 606 has been spending her Sunday mornings for the past few months. “Did you hear about that Hymn […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Weekly to Feature Provocative Centrefold

September 9, 2021 Andrew

ELIDA, OH In an effort to boost subscriptions, a prominent Mennonite church publication will now feature a new provocative centrefold each week. “In coming weeks we’ve got some highly provocative photos of two Calvinists and […]

Unger Conviction

Oba, But Winkler Already is a “Sanctuary City” Yet

September 4, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A protest in Winkler this week had some people calling for the creation of a “sanctuary city” where people would be free to do the opposite of what makes sense just to be […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Usher Duct Tapes Unruly Parishioner to Church Pew

August 12, 2021 Andrew

WAKARUSA, IN An unnamed local man was flying off the handle in church this Sunday and had to be restrained with duct tape by South Wakarusa Mennonite’s top usher Mr. Beck. “He was clearly intoxicated […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Newlyweds Look Like “They’ve Been Practicing”

August 11, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK When Maria Driedger and Peter Wall tied the knot this past Saturday, gasps went out throughout the crowd as their “first kiss” appeared to be anything but. “A dip and a swirl and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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