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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Scolds Sky for Wearing Too Much Makeup

November 13, 2025 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area pastor Ron Hildebrandt is preparing a scathing sermon for this Sunday after he witnessed an extremely immodest display of makeup on the night sky this week. “Jauma, it looks like a […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans

November 7, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON  Although it’s controversial in some circles, it’s been part of the Anabaptist system, and the Protestant system more generally, for centuries – crossing the floor. Whenever a church member feels slighted, offended, or […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School

November 5, 2025 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON It’s perhaps the most annoying trend to hit Sunday school this year, as Mennonite middle schoolers keep yelling “SIX-oh-six” at every opportunity. “There I am trying to tell them about the loaves and […]

Unger Conviction

In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday

October 28, 2025 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays are […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Signs Two-Year $25 Thousand Extension with Local Church

October 11, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Just days after Connor McDavid closed a deal with the Oilers, local youth pastor Collin Martens inked a two-year $25,000 extension with WestEast Edmonton Mennonite Church. “We had to wait and see what […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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