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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Nation Eliminates Poverty with $100 Million Investment in Jesus Commercials

February 13, 2024 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV The United States of America is close to becoming the first country on earth to eliminate poverty this week after the airing of a $100 million Super Bowl commercial that, apparently, promots […]

Unger Conviction

‘Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow’ Reaches #1 on iTunes Chart Nearly 5 Centuries After its Release

February 6, 2024 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA It’s happened to Tracy Chapman and Kate Bush and now it seems a 500-year-old hymn has also entered the charts long after its release. This week ‘Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow’ […]

Unger Conviction

Chaos in Church Kitchen as Pickle Dishes Discovered in Cream and Sugar Cupboard

February 5, 2024 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Chaos erupted in the South Grunthal Mennonite church kitchen this week after the labels fell off the cupboards, leaving pickle dishes in with cream and sugar and teaspoons in the chipped saucer drawer. […]

Unger Conviction

Commuter Sets Record for Consecutive Days Dining Alone in Bible College Cafeteria

February 1, 2024 Andrew

BIEBELPLATZ, AB Area man Jeremy Goerzen, 20, decided he’d save a bit of cash this year and commute to Biebelplatz Bible College from Calgary. But little did Jeremy know what this decision would do for […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Lifts Television Ban Just in Time For that New Menno Sitcom

January 3, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The MBEMMMCGC Church of Winkler has allowed a “temporary dispensation” to allow parishioners to buy a used TV from the thrift store, prop it up on a bale in the yard, and watch […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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