The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Fiery Pastor Finds Three Extra Syllables in the Name Jesus

January 2, 2025 Andrew

LETHBRIDGE, AB Rev. Jeremy Goerzen of Lethbridge is making waves throughout southern Alberta after discovering three missing syllables in the name Jesus, which he pronounces each Sunday, sweating roll down his face and Bible pounding […]

Unger Conviction

Magnus Carlsen Booted Out of Church for Wearing Jeans

December 30, 2024 Andrew

WATERTOWN, NY Norwegian chess superstar Magnus Carlsen had decided to try his hand at a Dutch Blitz tournament up in Watertown, New York this week, when he realized his attire was not suitable for the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Sings So Beautifully Out Her Nose

December 27, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Brandt had the congregation in silent awe this week with her stirring rendition on “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” which she managed to sing completely through her nose without ever opening her […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Praying for Snow Day So They Can Miss Church Tomorrow

December 8, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB With snow beginning to accumulate on Saturday evening, Mennonites across southern Alberta were hoping for a snow day on Sunday morning. “Oh would you look at that coming down,” said Dave Krahn of […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Promises His Monthly Tithe is in the Mail

December 1, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON When area man Garth Bueckert missed his monthly tithe this Sunday, Pastor Dave hauled him into the office for a friendly little chat. “So, Garth, I see we didn’t get your payment this […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 11 12 13 … 95 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Man with Million-dollar Tractor Stakes a Stand Against “Pride”
    June 13, 2026
  • Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2021
    November 20, 2021
  • Mennonite Teens Excommunicated for Not ‘Following Back’ the Youth Pastor
    August 29, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Leaves Church Early to “Check on the Smoker”
    July 18, 2021
  • Stash of Sears Catalogues Discovered Under Hugh Hefner’s Mattress
    October 2, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved