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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Everyone’s at the MCC Right Now, What Are You Doing on Facebook?

October 1, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Like, seriously, now, who’s even reading this? It’s the middle of the day on Saturday, which means that absolutely everyone in Steinbach is at the MCC thrift store, which closes at 3. Good […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandma Sure is a Stickler on Scrabble Rules

September 30, 2016 Andrew

HENDERSON, NB During the 20th century, Mennonite grandmothers across North America have overcome the oppressive patriarchal subculture that too often limited them to grade eight educations to excel at many things, including Scrabble. However, along […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Discovers He’s Dead from the Funeral Announcements

September 29, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Sam W. Buhler of Winker has listened to the funeral announcements on the local Plautdietsch radio station for the past twenty years, but never did he expect that he would hear his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Sparks Family Feud After Mowing His Lawn on a Sunday

September 28, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man William ‘Devil Anse’ Friesen incited the wrath of the neighbouring Loewen family after mowing his lawn on a lovely Sunday afternoon. “Us Loewens never did like those Friesens,” said family matriarch and […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Daily Bonnet Announces the Worst Contest Ever!

September 27, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Like and share this post to be entered into a draw for a used copy of Danny Orlis Goes to School that the Daily Bonnet purchased for $0.25 from the Steinbach MCC store. The […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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