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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Children Walk In On Parents Having Meddachschlop

December 28, 2016 Andrew

STEINREICH, MB Everyone in the Loewen family was peacefully asleep having a nice afternoon meddachschlop this past Sunday, when all of a sudden young Ethan and Brittany were awoken by peculiar sounds they just had to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party…or Mennonite Family Gathering?

December 28, 2016 Andrew

CORN, OK Unintentionally ugly Christmas sweaters were on full display at the Kliewer family Christmas gathering this past week. Only Grandma Kliewer was unaware of just how hideous the sweaters were. “I’m so glad to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mistletoe Creates Awkward Moments at Mennonite Family Gathering

December 27, 2016 Andrew

REICHENBACH, MB The presence of mistletoe at the Epp family Christmas gathering this past week, caused quite the number of awkward moments for the Epp cousins. “I don’t know why Oma insists on putting mistletoe all […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Overdoses on Christmas Oranges

December 26, 2016 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Local woman Mrs. Helen F. Gerbrandt, 76, of the Kleefeld area was hospitalized yesterday after consuming more than thirty Mandarin oranges in a single sitting. “She’s got way too much Vitamin C in her body,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Boxing Day Deemed ‘Far Too Violent’ by Mennonite Church

December 26, 2016 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB An area Mennonite pastor is urging his parishioners not to participate in Boxing Day activities this winter over concerns that the traditional holiday promotes violence. “I just don’t like the sound of it,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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