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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Comes Home and Catches Husband on Pinterest

August 7, 2017 Andrew

WEST KILDONAN, MB Earlier today, area woman Susan Dueck was shocked and horrified to discover her husband using Pinterest when she returned home early from a shopping trip. “Donald, just what are you doing?!” exclaimed Dueck. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Entire City of Steinbach to Stretch Out Along Highway 12

August 7, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Eager to reach neighbouring Ste. Anne before the end of the decade, the City of Steinbach has decided to relocate all existing houses, businesses, and churches to stretch out for miles along Highway […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Things for Mennonites to Do at the Lake this Weekend

August 6, 2017 Andrew

I was in church this morning. It was just me and Pastor Dave. It wasn’t bad, but the sermon felt a little personal, you know? Well, anyway, since you’re all out camping, I’ve decided to […]

Unger Conviction

Megachurch Rakes in Billions, Tops Fortune 500 List

August 5, 2017 Andrew

HOUSTON, TX With more than 400 billion net profit in 2016, a Houston-based megachurch called Waters of Blessing has become the first Christian church to top the Fortune 500 list of largest corporations by revenue. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Vocabulary Reduced to ‘Once’, ‘Yet’, and ‘Such’

August 5, 2017 Andrew

YARROW, BC There was a time when George Baerg’s vocabulary stretched to more than thirty words and an occasional ethusiastic ‘oba!’ These days, however, Mr. Baerg, now retired and extra grumpy, has settled on ‘once’, ‘yet’, and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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