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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Promises His Monthly Tithe is in the Mail

December 1, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON When area man Garth Bueckert missed his monthly tithe this Sunday, Pastor Dave hauled him into the office for a friendly little chat. “So, Garth, I see we didn’t get your payment this […]

The Daily Bonnet

MCC Superfans Now Known as ‘Thrifties’

November 30, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Thousands of enthusiastic shoppers gathered at their local MCC store this week to share a few hugs, exchange friendship bracelets, and get their hands on some gently used denim skirts. They’re known as […]

The Daily Bonnet

Swear Words Discovered in Rudy Wiebe Novel

November 29, 2024 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Church librarian Margaret Pankratz nearly fainted this afternoon after discovering several “f bombs” and a few “a words” in a copy of the Rudy Wiebe classic The Blue Mountains of China that she […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesens Blamed for Manitoba’s Harsh Winters

November 28, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A recent study showed that Friesen was the most common surname in Manitoba, beating out such favourites as Wiebe, Klassen, and even Smith. The study came as no surprise for local meteorologists who […]

Unger Suspicion

Presents from Santa Delayed Until March this Year

November 27, 2024 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Millions of Canadians have resorted to deceiving their children this Christmas. And not in the usual way like telling them that Santa exists. This year, parents have had to turn back the calendars […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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