Unger & Thirst
Mennonite Man Keeps Fork, Dessert Doesn’t Come
GOESSEL, KS Local man Peter Wiebe was left sitting there with a fork in his hand for a full hour before he realized dessert simply wasn’t on its way. “I even licked it off so […]
Articles by Andrew
The Daily Bonnet
One-‘N’-Bergmans to Battle Two-‘N’-Bergmanns This Sunday Afternoon at Altona Park
ALTONA, MB Bergman(n)s across Southern Manitoba will duke it out this Sunday at Altona Memorial Park. The competition, which consists mostly of feats of strength and Plautdietsch spelling, will decide once and for all how […]
The Daily Bonnet
Mennonites Excited for Latest Instalment in the ‘Harder Boys’ Series
BLUE CREEK COLONY, BELIZE Mennonites are lining up outside bookstores throughout Belize in anticipation of the new Harder Boys adventure. The books, now numbering several hundred, features wholesome brothers Johnny and Abram Harder who solve […]
The Daily Bonnet
Politically Correct Glossary of Mennonite Terminology
In the 21st century, even Mennonites need to change. And sometimes that means changing our terminology for various things. In an effort to use more sensitive language and avoid offence, the Daily Bonnet has created […]
Unger Suspicion
Canadian Government Spends $4.5 Billion on Old Useless Crap From Mrs. Penner’s Garage Sale
OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government announced Tuesday that it would be spending more than four billion dollars of taxpayer money on purchasing “whatever useless crap those Mennonites have for sale at their garage sales this […]