The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

“The Last Shall Be First, and the First Shall Be Last”: Sermon Causes Traffic Jam in Mennonite Town

November 10, 2018 Andrew

MARTENSVILLE, SK Vehicles were backed up for blocks in the small Mennonite town of Martensville this week after Pastor Martens gave a particularly stirring sermon on Matthew 20. “The last shall be first, and the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Introducing Every Mennonite’s New Favourite Winter Pastime: Strip Knipsbrat

November 9, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Young married couples in small towns all around the Saskatoon region have grown tired of the same old crokinole games on Saturday nights and have decided to add their own twist known as […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rosenort Couple Faces Existential Crisis: Are We Jantsied or Ditsied?

November 8, 2018 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB The Loewens of Rosenort have been facing considerable anxiety over the last few years trying to figure out whether they’re Jantsied or Ditsied. The conundrum has caused such stress that the Loewens have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Dangers of Living in a Mennonite Town

November 7, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Oba, nay! Oh, yo, so the weltlich Englishers at Maclean’s Magazine said Steinbach was “dangerous.” They even put it on a list with Wetaskawin yet! I’ve got frintschoft there and I naver had […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thrift Store Prices Still Not Cheap Enough for Mennonite Thieves

November 6, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Soaring prices at local thrift stores have forced some unscrupulous Mennonites into shoplifting in order to obtain the rubber boots and crocheted doilies needed for bare survival. “When I saw the prices, I had no other choice,” […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 503 504 505 … 729 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Man Prays So Long the Food Gets Cold
    April 4, 2024
  • Chips Blamed for Kicker’s Accuracy Problems
    June 7, 2024
  • Tom Brady Blames Loss on Regulation Size Footballs
    February 5, 2018
  • Mennonite Exotic Dancer Thrills Audience by Removing Her Düak
    July 10, 2017
  • Steinbacher Surpasses 10,000 Career Kjnipsing Yards
    July 26, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved