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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Politician Splits from Conservatives to Form the Tupperware Party

August 23, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It seems Maxine Bernier is not the only one leaving the Conservative Party to form one of his own. Mennonite MP Cassandra Petkau of the Neuhochenfeld Riding has become disgruntled and is seeking […]

Unger Suspicion

Jets Ink Morrissey to Long Term Deal

August 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After months of negotiation the Winnipeg Jets announced today that they have inked legendary British alternative rocker Morrissey to a five-year deal. “We’re really glad to have Morrissey locked up for the next […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Heritage Village Offers Time Travel for a Lot Less than the Cost of a Delorean

August 21, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB If a flux-capacitor-equipped Delorean is a little out of your price range, the folks at the Mennonite Heritage Village in Steinbach offer a chance to go back to the 1870s for just a […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Drives 20 Miles Before Realizing McDonald’s Drive-Thru Didn’t Give Him Any Ketchup

August 20, 2018 Andrew

HIGHWAY 44, MB Winnipeg man Richard Giesbrecht, 47, was well on his way to Whitemouth Lake this weekend before he realized that, once again, the McDonald’s drive-thru had failed to provide him with any ketchup. […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Finally Legalizes Sundae Shopping

August 19, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Things sure are changing in the growing city of Steinbach. After heated debate this week, Steinbach city council voted 4 to 3 in favour of legalizing sundae shopping. “This is something that has […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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