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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Attends English Service After Sleeping In and Missing German Service

January 19, 2019 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB For the first time in her life, Mrs. Johan Klassen of Rosenort attended a “worldly church service” in the English language. After a late night of canasta with the girls, Mrs.  Klassen slept […]

Unger & Thirst

“I Could Make it Myself Better and Cheaper”: Mennonite Woman Refuses to Buy Anything at Church Bake Sale

January 18, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB While examining the offerings at the Grunthal Church fundraising bake sale this week, Mrs. Kehler refused to buy a single item, claiming that everything she saw she “could easily make at home much […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Abes’ Opens in Mennonite Town

January 17, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB The SPCA is expanding its reach by opening up a branch in the small Mennonite town of New Bothwell. The goal of the new society is to make sure area Abes are […]

Unger Suspicion

Study Suggest Satire is 20% Funnier When Drunk

January 16, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A new study out of the University of Central Kitchener shows that satire is a fully twenty percent funnier after readers have had more than four drinks. “The problem with the Daily Bonnet […]

The Daily Bonnet

Last Remaining Man at Senior’s Home Has Women Scrambling for His Attention

January 16, 2019 Andrew

AYLMER, ON At 88 years young, Mr. George Wiebe is the last man standing at the Aylmer Menno Home. While he does occasionally miss the chance to talk about the price of hogs these days […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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