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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Poppy and Peace Button Wage War for Space on Mennonite Man’s Lapel

November 11, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON For more than fifty years the vacant space on Mr. Funk’s lapel has been quiet and peaceful. Sadly, however, a war for territorial supremacy has recently broken out between a poppy and an […]

Unger Conviction

Fight Breaks Out for Church Pew on ‘Peace Sunday’

November 10, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK West Saskatoon Mennonite Church’s Peace Sunday service was interrupted right in the middle of the responsive reading after the Wiebes came in late and demanded a spot in a pew occupied by the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Turns 40, or 65 in ‘Mennonite Years’

November 9, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Andy Unrau turned 40 this weekend, though he was not nearly as eager to celebrate the occasion as one might expect. “If you do the math, that’s 65 in Mennonite years,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

NASA Commemorates Historic “First Mennonite on the Moon”

November 8, 2019 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS NASA paused for moment of silence this morning in recognition of the 50 year anniversary of the historic landing of Mennonites on the moon. Mennonites made the voyage in 1969 and have been […]

The Daily Bonnet

Anthropologists Shocked! Russian Mennonites aren’t really Russian and Pennsylvania Dutch aren’t really Dutch

November 7, 2019 Andrew

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND Anthropological researchers from the University of New Zealand have recently made a shocking discovery about two prominent groups of Mennonites, the so-called Russians and the Pennsylvania Dutch. “Neither one of them are […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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