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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Discovers Farmer’s Tan in His Plumber’s Crack

August 4, 2019 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Scientists have flocked to the northern Alberta town of La Crete this week after a distinct farmer’s tan was discovered in a local man’s plumber’s crack. “Mr. Klassen is a wonder to […]

Unger Conviction

Ms. Anna Baptist to Bring the Word this Sunday

August 3, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA The congregation at Lancaster Mennonite Church is very pleased to announce that world famous Ms. Anna Baptist will be bringing the Word this Sunday. “I’ve heard so much about this Anna Baptist. It’ll […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Grandma Now Has More Subs than PewDiePie after Signing Up All Her Relatives

August 2, 2019 Andrew

CORN, OK After a string of hilarious videos and video game-commentaries, Mrs. Kroeker of the small town of Corn, Oklahoma has now passed PewDiePie for the most popular YouTuber in the world. “What can I […]

Unger Suspicion

Winkler Welcomes the Return of Legendary 60s Folk Duo ‘Peter Pauls and Mary’

August 1, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Winklerites have been snatching up tickets to see the long-awaited return of legendary 60s folk rock duo Peter Pauls and Mary. “Oba, I remember them since the charch picnic in 1964,” said Mr. […]

Unger & Thirst

Panic Strikes Bible Camp After Tuck Shop Runs Out of Doritos and Pepsi

July 31, 2019 Andrew

CAMP MENNO BIRD, SK The staff at Camp Menno Bird have been on damage control this week after the tuck shop ran out of Doritos and Papsi the very first day. “We simply didn’t order […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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