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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Southeast Event Centre Introduces New Slogan: Fuelled by Formavorscht

January 11, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The new state-of-the-art Southeast Event Centre in downtown Steinbach just unveiled a new slogan that represents the passion and potential of the community – Fuelled by Formavorscht. “More farmer sausage is produced and […]

Unger Conviction

Faith Healer Offers Monthly Payment Plan

January 10, 2025 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A travelling miracle worker who claims to be able to heal back aches and migranes with just the power of his touch and a little faith, is offering “the fine folks of Calgary […]

Unger Suspicion

Woman Waits 2 Weeks for Service at Local Hardware Store

January 9, 2025 Andrew

GRUENBACH, SK Area woman Lauren Kehler, 31, went to the service desk at the local hardware store with a question about caulking and was still unacknowledged a full 2 weeks later. “I guess I’ll stick […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Excited that Parliament is Perogied Until March

January 8, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Canada were excited to hear that Parliament is going to be “perogied” until March. The new “perogied” status means that Members of Parliament will basically do nothing but eat […]

Unger the Influence

Frugal Mennonite Ladies to Make Quilts Out of Their Old Trudeau Flags

January 7, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Got an extra ‘F-ck Trudeau’ flag hanging around? The ladies at the Pembina Valley Quilting Society could use your assistance. The group is collecting discarded Trudeau flags, which they plan to scrap and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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