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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg

October 27, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Abbotsford woman Stephanie Friesen has come under a hailstorm of controversy this week after apparently bringing the west coast’s rainy weather with her to Winnipeg. “I haven’t used an umbrella in October in […]

Unger Games

Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations

October 25, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After an apparent gaff in running an ad that accurately represented Ronald Reagan’s views on tariffs, Ontario Premier Doug Ford is now asking the Blue Jays to “let them have this one,” in […]

Unger the Influence

White House Ends Trade Talks with Canada Over Alex P. Keaton Commercial

October 24, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House is fuming this week after the government of Ontario used the image of beloved Family Ties character Alex P. Keaton to promote an anti-tariff message. “Tariffs are a longstanding American […]

Unger Suspicion

Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack

October 23, 2025 Andrew

AIRDRIE, AB Area man Jeremy Goerzen, 41, slowed way down on Highway 2 near Balzac this week as he saw what he believed was a cop approaching in the distance. “Oh, jeez, better ease off […]

Unger Games

Toronto Sees Massive Surge in Knackzoat Sales

October 21, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A trucker’s convoy-worth of sunflower seeds are on their way to Toronto this week to meet the demand of baseball fans in the GTA. “We’re basically just having them dump it in Sankofa […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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