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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites 67 and Older Now Eligible for Schmaunt Fat Injections

March 22, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB There was a scramble to get appointments at the Schmaunt Fat Injection Super Site in Winnipeg after the province lowered the age of eligibility to 67 this week. “Oba, finally, I can get […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Excited that Province has Opened Things Up for ‘El Fresca’ Dining

March 21, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Eleanor Loewen, 71, of North Kildonan is eager to take her 2L bottles of sugar free Fresca to one of those patios on Corydon this weekend, after the province announced she was now […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandma Eager to Start ‘Remote Learning’

March 20, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK When her local school announced they would be going to “remote learning” this semester, Mrs. Wiebe of Swift Current was eager to sign up for the course. “I’ve struggled with that remote […]

Quizzes

The World’s Easiest Mennonite Quiz

March 19, 2021 Andrew

Alright, folks, this one is easy. I promise. It’s so easy that even the staunchest of Lutherans should get ten out of ten. Here it is: the world’s easiest Mennonite quiz. [wp_quiz id=”14699″]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Worried He Might Be Getting Old as He’s Finally Developed a Taste for Borscht

March 18, 2021 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After a childhood of utter repulsion at the sight of cabbage borscht, 22-year-old Thomas Plett of Kleefeld has finally developed a taste for the stuff. “I’m not sure what did it,” said Plett. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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